Faith will lead you across mountains. Even if that mountain may seem, at first, too big to climb. It's easy to give up. It takes devotion to living to want to keep climbing after hopelessness has knocked you down.
The biggest lesson you can learn is you're only down if you let yourself be down. Get up and FIGHT. Even if you have to do it laying down.
So, what could possibly go wrong now that my miracle opportunity had begun? Well, since you asked, PLENTY! Beyond anything I'd ever imagined ever happening to me.
My energy levels slowly began to give me more. An extra hour each week, turned into an extra hour each day as I dutifully followed Dr. Hitt's instructions. I had highs and lows emotionally as I became hungrier and hungrier for what life had to offer outside of my bedroom door. While beds can be cozy business, after a while, even a imagination as great as mine is bound to need input rather than all external output! I needed the food of life and interaction. I needed friends. I needed family. I settled with the gratification that, for now, I had opportunity and I was making progress.
I was so excited this year. It was the first year I'd been able to not only go Christmas shopping, but actually had the energy to DRESS UP, put on MAKEUP and try to pretend I was my old fashion plate self!!! I was as tickled as a child who'd just been given their dream toy for Christmas.
And then it happened.
There were no warnings. Nothing out of the usual pain I was used to fighting my way through physically each day. Nothing that prepared me for this.
This, this … whatever it was.
I was standing in line at Best Buys. There was Christmas bustle smiling all around me & Jingle Bells filtered through the sound system. I don't even remember who's Christmas present I was so excited about buying. I was out in the real world amongst PEOPLE who were not at a doctors office AND …. AND … IT WAS CHRISTMAS!!! I was buying GIFTS! It was AWESOME!!
Until, suddenly a pain so sharp sliced through my lower back it simultaneously took my breath away, I dropped what I was holding, and clutched my midrift as I doubled over. I remember standing there in line, breathing deeply, letting the pain surge through me until it eased up, trying not to be noticeable. It felt like a hot knife had just sliced through me. I tried to move my right foot, it lifted and with a little less pain, allowed me to move forward in line. I held my breath when the next surge of pain shot through me, counting, holding my breath, praying.
Four more people in front of me and I'm
By the time it was my turn to make my purchase, well … I really don't remember. I can't recall (at least at this writing) what I was buying. My heart was beating in my head and my head was commanding my legs to move despite the spasms of pain that kept shooting through me.
"Dear God," I thought, "Please help get me home."
(to be continued — that's all I can write for today.)