10 Years Ago … A new decade a Life time celebration.
10 Years Ago I adopted the philosophy "Life Begins Today." I was about 5 months into my first medical treatments with Dr. Hitt. These treatments would be the beginning of a long journey, rebuilding my immune system and resulting in the grand gift of giving me back my life. Perhaps not a perfect life (yet) but opportunities I had no chance of experiencing before I started seeing him.
I was feeling impatient … restless.
I'd just rediscovered what, not only sleep, but refreshing sleep felt like! I'd gone for nearly 8 years without much sleep & sleep, when I did have it, wasn't restful at all. I'd wake as exhausted and worn out as when I went to bed.
I began to have the window frame of my one hour day (yes ONE hour before I was exhausted and forced back into bed) open up with a zing of happiness as my world slowly began opening itself wider. Those first flashes of energy were like having a Jack n the Box pop out at me & left me filled with an exhilarated childish glee.
The windows to my life opened slowly and I embraced each day with that hope and an enormous amount gratitude that somehow this would work and piece not only me, but my life back together.
It's been a long journey that hasn't been without a hard moment… or six, but you can't imagine the pure amount of joy I carry inside of me for every ounce of progress I've made and continue to make.
I spent 10 years 85-100% housebound and 5 years almost completely bedridden. My outings for years were bounced between doctor appointments, physical therapy and sprinkled with chiropractic love. My risky moments were getting to and from the grocery store or the pharmacy without passing out. I had been injured in a car accident, and while no outward scars showed, the shake up to a small framed body was tremendous …
Only two people knew how bad or how hard things were. My oldest sister and Jo, my closest friend & a strong mother figure to me who passed away in early 2006. (you can't imagine how much I miss her)
Everyone else was either too caught up in their own lives to care or were so used to Me being the strong one, they couldn't handle when I wasn't. People make a huge error in judgment when they relate illness to mental weakness. I may have lived in a tunnel of fatigue, but I was never weak. I fought. I fought to pull myself out of the darkness and the lurking shadows of fatigue that drained the life supply of energy from my immune system and my body. I fought to win a medical war I didn't understand back then. It was a war I was determined to win. My head would give commands of tasks that needed to be done while my body laid listless, as if it hadn't heard a word.
Sometimes life will put you in places you can't imagine so you will stop and learn what it's trying to tell you.
I didn't cry (unless I was in the shower), I didn't complain, but I did get crabby a time or two until I learned not to. I lived off of hope and I locked myself in a bubble of faith. Each day I lived believing that the answers would come, that I would get better & stronger, and one day have a life that existed outside of a doctors office or medical treatment.
The biggest frustration was dealing with a medical community that was under educated and had either no belief in or knowledge of Chronic Fatigue and the several other ailments that had wrapped themselves around my body after the car accident. As if my body wasn't up against a rough enough fight, doctors who were either too caught up in limited beliefs or ears so full of wax they couldn't hear or understand began over medicating me. When allergy treatments were needed I was put on antibiotics. For almost THREE YEARS. I had one clinic drop me as a patient because their board felt Chronic Fatigue patients were too time consuming and needed mental help not medical help. I had another doctor, when my colon quit working, tell me to "Go home and make up with your boyfriend. You don't need a doctor, you need a shrink." And yes, that same office scheduled me for surgery to remove my large intestine. I'll never forget that fated September date. I didn't have the surgery, thanks to Dr. Hitt. When I tell you Dr. Hitt gave me back my life, I'm really so not kidding, my internal organs were shutting down and either not working or fatiguing out.
By the time I literally drug my worn out and fatigued body to Dr. Hitt's I felt I had nothing to lose. He was my last hope or I was going to die.
Gratitude comes in the colors of the rainbow and I've seen them all.
#28DayChallenge – Day 2