It’s been a rough couple of weeks, getting through the holidays while not feeling well, kissed by headaches from hell and sprinkled with some holiday disappointment. Dealing with family, people, friends, and friends that say they’re friends but don’t always act like it, then add an attorney or two.
All in all, a part of me was left feeling pretty worn out, beaten up and very, very drained. In attempts to take care of me and the exhaustion I was feeling, I found myself in bed earlier than usual each night, pushing away the verbal pokes and jabs tossed at me.
Sarcastic jabs at me followed by comments of denial.
Everyday practically, for the first 3 weeks of December. Hard stuff to deal with on any day, even harder when you’re fighting a fever, headaches & not feeling well. It had no reality for me or the world I live in or how I feel, … but it had it’s tole on me.
Finally I caved in and sank into a depression despite being one who always reaches for the sun shine. The combination of all I was trying to accomplish, being over tired, and the mental jabs wore me out and left my holiday in a very vacant, almost empty place.
I’m working on recovering from that. Trying to get my head past it all & the echo of negative words stuck in my head. Brain flushing.
I’m not a depressed type person nor one that ever crosses the doors of depression, but I certainly have my limits. The month of December added with other aspects during the year, despite all I tried to accomplish, has left me feeling quite sad …. and emotionally drained.
Not a place I choose or want to be.
A place I refuse to be.
I’ll work my way past this difficult spot …. I’m just having to pause and recover me during an intermission in the rebuilding of my life. No theatrics. No drama. Just a much needed rest and a long soak in the tub while I find peace inside my brain once more.
Just writing this out has helped dig me out of some of the burden I’ve been carrying.
*big hugs, much love* … and thanks for listening.