We interupt this blog project to talk about …

Christmas_balls_1 Me.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks, getting through the holidays while not feeling well, kissed by headaches from hell and sprinkled with some holiday disappointment.  Dealing with family, people, friends, and friends that say they’re friends but don’t always act like it, then add an attorney or two.   

All in all, a part of me was left feeling pretty worn out, beaten up and very, very drained.   In attempts to take care of me and the exhaustion I was feeling, I found myself in bed earlier than usual each night, pushing away the verbal pokes and jabs tossed at me. 

Christmas_blog_0161_2

Pokes here. 

Comments there. 

Sarcastic jabs at me followed by comments of denial. 

Negative. 

Sarcasm.

… draining. 

Everyday practically, for the first 3 weeks of December.  Hard stuff to deal with on any day, even harder when you’re fighting a fever, headaches & not feeling well.   It had no reality for me or the world I live in or how I feel, … but it had it’s tole on me. 

Finally I caved in and sank into a depression despite being one who always reaches for the sun shine.  The combination of all I was trying to accomplish, being over tired, and the mental jabs wore me out and left my holiday in a very vacant, almost empty place.   

I’m working on recovering from that.  Trying to get my head past it all & the echo of negative words stuck in my head.  Brain flushing.

I’m not a depressed type person nor one that ever crosses the doors of depression, but I certainly have my limits.  The month of December added with other aspects during the year, despite all I tried to accomplish, has left me feeling quite sad …. and emotionally drained.

Not a place I choose or want to be. 

A place I refuse to be.

2007_kids_and_spring_017 *Izzy sigh* 

I’ll work my way past this difficult spot ….  I’m just having to pause and recover me during an intermission in the rebuilding of my life.  No theatrics.  No drama.  Just a much needed rest and a long soak in the tub while I find peace inside my brain once more.

Just writing this out has helped dig me out of some of the burden I’ve been carrying. 

By myself.

*big hugs, much love* … and thanks for listening.

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8 responses to “We interupt this blog project to talk about …

  1. I am so sorry to hear that you have been fighting this. Wish you would have called…I figured you were just recovering from all you do for everyone else – like the boys fighting the war…you are in my thoughts as are the furbabies!

  2. Hey Hon. Sending hugs and good thoughts for rest and recouperation. A new year brings new beginnings – like I need to tell you… 😉
    Love you bunches!

  3. {{{{{{{{{Sprite}}}}}}}} I know exactly what you are talking about. Sounds like exactly what happened to me back in June.
    My good thoughts and vibes go out to you for a healing, healthful day.
    Lots of love and hugs!!!!!

  4. Sending hugs to you my special friend. I think we can all identify with periods like that in our lives. For me I tend to retreat and have some quiet time to work my way through–the come out the other side a little better.
    You have been there for all of us as we have struggled with life’s challenges, know that we are there for you if you need us. Just a phone call, an email or a message away.
    Love,
    Ann

  5. Heidi (BlueTeddy)

    Sprite,
    Sending you a really Big Hug.
    Thank you for posting this blog and sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Know that I am thinking of you and sending you lots of Love. You do so much for so many…it’s time to take care of yourself now. You know where we all are if you need us.
    Lots of Love,

  6. Sprite,
    You always bring a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. Your love for others is evident to all who know you. it’s easy to say “it will be alright, because sometimes it’s not. However, you are strong, confident and wonderful; key ingredients, plus some faith, to help make it through life’s tough moments.

  7. Sprite, my darling, here’s the thing. Holidays are tough on almost everyone. You have to know when you’ve reached your limit…I respond by deflecting pretty much everything and everyone that I cannot deal with, at any given moment. I have whole periods of time when I ignore everyone whose pants are not on fire. I do the best I can. It’s OK if he or she does not understand or approve.
    There is a very good reason why we are instructed, as the airplane is crashing, to put the oxygen mask on ourselves BEFORE we put them on our children or loved ones. We can only be of use to others if we take care of ourselves first. We need to live to be of use!
    Put on your oxygen mask; embrace the bubbles; welcome the comfort of sleep. Take care of you. We love you. Be well, necessarily and with full conviction.
    Hang tough.

  8. Hey sweetpea – I’m so sad to hear you’re having such a rough time of it. This month seems to have brought out a lot of darkness all around. Please know that you are surrounded by people that love, value and respect you. Your kindness and caring is a gift in this world.
    Don’t let the bastards get you down, peanut!

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