Department of Motor Vehicles – aren’t they grand???


For the past month I’ve been having a … not so fun time…  with the California Department of Motor Vehicles AND Los Angeles Department of Transportation. 

Both have shown a level of incompetency that stumps, I’m sure, even the average bubble headed blonde.

First I received a notice from the California Department of Motor Vehicles that my license was being revoked for being involved in a traffic accident in early February without Insurance.

Like, what???


Talk about screwing your average paperwork up.  They sent what SHOULD have gone to the *almost hit and run* driver that rear ended me to ME!  Had I not followed this guy, taking down his license plate number, he would have NEVER pulled over to give me the 20 minutes of "I no speak English".

Shortbus46967 I was the one WITH insurance.  THREE rounds of *can you read this* and SEVERAL hours of phone calls later, I received a nice letter from DMV saying basically, "the suspension of your license has been suspended."   It was too easy to fix the FIRST time I called.  So we had to do it THREE more times, because, well …. apparently the California Department of Motor Vehicles rides the little  yellow short bus.

It was all SO much fun, after getting things taken care of with the Ca. DMV, Los Angeles Department of Transportation decided to like the color yellow as well.  I received a notice from them for a $50 parking ticket fine that was past due. 

One problem. 

I’ve never had a parking ticket fine. (I get speeding tickets, NOT parking tickets. dorks)  Another – even bigger problem … I totally have NO clue where the area that I’m supposed to have parked illegally even is!  I’ve been in downtown LA once.  In 1984 with a Fashion design class.  *confused blonde look*

I’m guessing a poltergeist stole my vehicle WHILE I was SEVEN hours away driving it in the area WHERE I LIVE.

I called the Los Angeles Department of Transportation to discuss the impossibility of this parking ticket taking place with MY vehicle – or ME.  Apparently they were short a little man power and the people with brains were off that day.  They did tell me, however, that they would put it under investigation.

With LA’s best at their finest, I received a letter from the Los Angeles Department of Motor Vehicles stating that, after investigation, they have concluded that said parking ticket is valid and payment is now due.  Following that were a few threats if I were to fail to pay promptly.

You know, just your casual impoundment of your vehicle, withholding of your annual vehicle registration, immobilization of the vehicle. 

I’m thinking, WOW.  Los Angeles Department of Transportation is REALLY hurting bad!  Not only are they unable to hire competent employees that are able read license plate numbers correctly, they’re also wasting a LOT of ink and paper issuing threats to cover up their mistakes. 

Is this a $50 collection for someones retirement party??? 

*blink, blink*

Thinking that the Los Angeles Department of Transportation can’t be THAT stupid, I called them one more time to point out a very grave error that even THEY should have been able to catch in their little investigation.  The ticketed vehicle was MAROON.  My vehicle is WHITE.  Last time I checked those to colors were on pretty opposite corners of the color wheel.

Ok, so, I was wrong.

They are THAT stupid.  They don’t dismiss tickets on the basis of vehicle colors and it is up to ME to prove that it wasn’t MY vehicle in an area I have never been before (or any where near) on this given day in time.

*shakes head in wonder*

Fortunately the day this ticket took place, I had appointments in my area – witnesses.  So, I’ve had to run around getting signed statements (and I took pictures – when you’re dealing with Yellow bus people, one can not be too cautious) from everyone I saw that day.  Plus my cell phone records indicate that I took and received calls in MY area DURING the time I was allegedly in Los Angeles getting a parking ticket.  Knowing that, with the level of competency I’ve experienced from LA’s finest, simple phone records wouldn’t be sufficient, I’ve gotten the signed statements, photo copies of appointment book with MY name in it, and pictures of the witnesses … 

Do you think I need more???  After all, I am dealing with a department that apparently can’t read, has trouble writing, and needs to raise money for their retirement and beer fund.

*blink, blink*

Aren’t they all just a wonder?



6 responses to “Department of Motor Vehicles – aren’t they grand???

  1. Got to love hate a bureaucracy like that. We went nine rounds with the NYC DMV over a theoretically issued parking ticket. We never received the ticket on our windshield despite the fact that we were indeed parked where they claimed on the day of the ticket. But we were at a FAILED meter.
    Appealed the fine and they ruled in our favor but miss marked the form and we still had to pay and were told to appeal the paid fine. Finally, 18 months later, they refunded us the $95 ($55 plus late fees).
    See, same BS coast to coast!

  2. It is rather amazing isn’t it. Look at the energy expended on your end to try to prove yourself right. Evidently there are no customer service courses offered/required for government employees.

  3. Do they not know you are a Sprite? What the hell is wrong with them??? Jerks!

  4. nowshera.

  5. So I am doing my online comedy traffic school, and I must admit that some of the jokes aren’ t bad. But while waiting for the mandatory twenty minute clock to elapse, I had to comment on the following list (courtesy of Funny In Florida, LLC):

  6. Provisional Driving Restrictions for the first twelve months

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